Notas

Music is probably my favorite thing.  I like its emotion provoking tendencies.

This silly book I am reading for Alpha class has me thinking a bit.  It is a tad preachy I think but there are some good points that the author makes.  He was discussing how people want to be alone yet with people through texting and instant messaging which is a kind of weird concept. I just got to thinking about how "I'm bored" is heard all too often in today's society.  It seems like, people need to be constantly entertained. I mean, how bored are you really? Can you not just sit there and think? Does someone or thing have to always do the thinking for you? People are lazy probably.  We always need a T.V. show or webpage, of which there are usually a few open, or a friend to gossip with, or a video game, or something that instantly appeals to us.  There is no time to embrace a feeling before we have to feel a new one.  People will do anything to feel a sensation and quickly assess it and admit they felt it then move on to something else.  How does anyone know what they feel? I even personally need to slow down and just, do nothing and FEEL how I feel. Because right now I know I have several feelings but I cannot pinpoint any of them or even grasp and really feel them. I miss being able to sit around and be "bored" and just feel things.  How do you even know what you are feeling is anything? It is some color/light/sound stimulated response and nothing more.  I wonder where all the real feelings are.  

Cheer up

Does anyone else think that maybe emos are todays version of hippies? I mean, hippies wanted to do weird shit and freak people out by being different, and whether or not emos realize it, that is what they are doing.  Except emos are selfish and cut themselves and want to die. I think hippies did drugs to enhance life or whatever, maybe emos cutting themselves is the parallel of hippies smoking pot. Hippies had their own music and music that no one else understood or liked, emos have that. Lets see, it all connects in a weird way, although hippies were for peace, that could relate to emos because they are for...bad haircuts? I don't know. There might be something all emos want to portray.  That is kind of fun to think about.  Both don't want to conform. Like, hippies want to stick it to "the man" and I am sure emos don't want to be normal. Because they aren't.  So there's that.  Both come in groups.  It's times like this I really want a net gun.

If you ever want to buy a great set of headphones, get yourself some Bose headphones. Mine are superb.  Its quality beyond your imagination.  You can hear all kind of things in songs you did not even notice before.  Anyways, not to promote them or anything.

So its back to school tomorrow. This break has been nice.  I really appreciated it. It felt long enough and I have come to the epiphany that I need to get my ass in gear and get good grades and be motivated and maybe spend some more time in the library.  Or a lot of time in the library. Because I can never stay focused in my room, it sucks the focus out of me and pushes the distractions into view.  Plus now I have a nice new coat to keep me warm if I should need to face the weather.  I have quite a positive outlook for this semester. I will succeed. That is what is in my brain. And I am excited to do so. I am glad to be so happy about college. It makes life easier. Since college is a large portion of my life at the moment.  

I really wish we lived somewhere where you could see more stars at night.  I bet the lake will be secluded enough for millions of stars.

Archaea Bacteria Eukarya

Animals are the most fascinating thing to me.  Each and every one of them has some cool survival technique and some weird mating ritual and some fancy talent.  I just have to learn more about them.  There is no choice in my mind.  It all depends on which animal I find MOST intriguing. That will be my toughest choice.  Plus, I really love dinosaurs and they are all dead.  What a bummer.

It will be easy to study animals because there are so many and so many more undiscovered. So I may end up cataloguing new bacteria but at least one will be named after me.  I really could be a taxonomist.  I would be busy for the rest of my life thats for sure.  I feel like I am compulsive enough to organize all of the species and what makes them certain species and what makes that family that family and that class that class etc.  That would be fun to me.  But being out in the wild is even more fun.  I want to hunt down illusive animals and scuba dive to see whales and go spelunking to find albino blind newts, which I now kind of feel sorry for even though they are ugly and have freaky external gills. They are so pathetic though. And their toes are cute.  I want to know what they eat.  But I feel my true passion is birds.  I could watch my bird preen for hours. That is just one measly little pet cockatiel.  I can study different parrots and owls and raptors and water fowl and penguins.  Or whales. I could study whales forever.  Their hearts can be as big as a VW bug.  I cannot even imagine the power of that muscle.  

I know this is a big word, and I would hope to stir up the pot on a definition or lets say part of the definition because I honestly think this might be one of those things that exceeds words and is actual moments, of course I speak of love.  I want to just throw some things out there as part of the definition.  I think that a trait that is part of love is complete patience.  I don't think it is simply romantic when someone says they will wait forever, I think that is one of those real love moments.  I know that in movies its all over done and put out of proportion but patience is practically gone in our society and love brings it out, true love that is.  Maybe it is something about love that brings out all kinds of good traits. I am sure that I have heard that somewhere "it brings out the best in a man..." or whatever.  But that sounds right.  People in love are happier and make people around them happier don't they?  Understanding is also one of those key traits.  That does not necessarily mean agreement. It is that knowing without the person having told them.  It is such a natural thing and it has to be there.

I am done babbling about love.  More on that when I have some experience.

Devour

G'day! 

I will be saying that soon enough :D I wonder if I can go my sophomore year in the spring. I will talk to my study abroad advisor when I get back to school.  A lot of things will be in motion when I get back to school.  Which will make me feel better because everything is at a standstill right now for me. Everyone else around me is running around doing things and I am sitting here. I am getting quite a pathetic feeling.  I will never be a bum without a job or classes or a career. I would feel too sorry for myself and be in a slump and that would not last long.

Tonight I am going to briefly discuss the media. As it is the topic of a book I have to read for school.  The author has already made some good points.  He is trying to explain how the media is so intertwined in our lives that it is natural to expect it for some younger people or those being born into it.  Which, makes sense. Plus, it is all anyone talks about. T.V. shows, commercials, internet whatevers, celebs.  I feel awkward talking to people that start conversations with "Oh did you see American Idol last night?" mainly because I don't like that show. But I am not the kind of person to respond with "No, that show is fucking dumb" because I am pretty nice.  Still, it feels to me that that is what the majority of people discuss. I honestly feel that is why I am not a social little person. I don't care about all of the normal T.V. shows and celebrities and clothing styles and what the hell else those people talk about.  I would rather discuss ideas and plans and theories and intellectual things.  Does anyone out there want to discuss that with me because I feel alone a lot.  I mean, no one is dedicated to anything anymore. Besides, drinking on the weekends, catching up with their celebrity gossip and Gossip Girl and facebook stalking their friends (which I do sometimes but not to the extent of some people) and gossiping in general. I think I wrote about this already but, how can you  be "friends" with like, way too many people, then talk about their lives to their friends and be fulfilled with your life? I just don't see how.  Plus, back to the media book, the author was discussing how the media provides us with instant and infinite information.  Which, ok, I can see how the brain likes information and all kinds of different stuff and how a T.V. provides that easily.  Flashing colors, images, sounds, situations, places, people, things, the T.V. has it all.  So for example, I personally cannot stop learning. I love just looking things up on Wikipedia or in books or having someone teach me.  This means to me that my brain is always looking to learn something and T.V. usually provides enough stimulation. However, it is so tainted with whatever T.V. show producers and advertising agents want us to see that I cannot handle that much of it. Honestly, a T.V. show every now and then would completely suffice for me. I do enjoy the shows that teach me things more than others.  PBS is usually full of those.  I do reading. I wish we had some encyclopedias around so I could read them. I would certainly read them all the time.  If I picked up the "E" volume I am sure it would have enough random information to satisfy my hunger.

I just hate being barraged with advertisements.  Seriously, less than half even apply to me.  

The years we live in

Rant time! Oh wait, Hi everyone. It was a lovely Sunday was it not? We went by some potential sunflower fields. Or at least during the summer they are. I want to run through them in the summer one day.

I feel like today, people are changed. And quite drastically from even my fathers time. For example, we were talking about ADD and how it did not really "exist" when my dad was young. He just said "kids played outside..." I mean, its that simple. People found a way to entertain themselves that did not involve a screen.  Their dad went to work, their mom cleaned the house and probably shooshed the kids outside until dinner.  I wish that had happened to me more often. And kids around me too so I would have someone to adventure with.  I think had that happened, I would have had an even better childhood.  If my mom had just told us to go play outside, and we walked down to the park and made friends and played in the pond and stuff, that would have made me into a more sociable person I think. My siblings and I did that entertain yourself thing but mostly inside.  And not with screens which is important I think.  Although there was when we got our Game Boys.  But I think that was just on the edge of the technological advancement on the brains of human children.  And we did not have a lot of money so we didn't own all the fancy systems. Plus, those can only provide so much entertainment.  Today, the internet reins and kids are losing their social lives to typing on a screen to other people on their facebook walls and sitting on their asses so long they get numb.  Doesn't anyone want to appreciate the outdoors anymore? I know I do. Especially since we are demolishing and building crap on more of it day by day.

I really would like to go to Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso. For two reasons, I really want to go to Africa and I like saying that name.  I have learned my African countries and feel quite proud.  Also, I would like to go to Mauritius and be sad about the Dodos I am not seeing.

Well, as much as I would like to discuss singularity right now, I think I will save that rant for another time. Though, it should be fun.

R n R

Hola huevos and huevas. Not sure the second word is a word, but it has the feminine thing going on. So I have been looking into studying abroad in Australia. It looks fantastic so far. If I go to Macquarie University I might meet or hopefully be taught by Professor Richard Frankham who is a biologist named one of the world's best scientists of the 21st century. Which I think, personally, might look good on a graduate school application.  However, that school in is Sydney which may be too urban and terrifying for me. I don't know yet.  I also would like to go to the University of Tasmania. And the more I look into it the better it sounds. An excursion you can do is to go scuba diving around shipwrecks and coral reefs I'm sure but, shipwrecks?! Is that not amazing? I think it would be. I am getting excited thinking about it. 

I really like water. I feel like it is underrated. People always finding some new healthy thing to drink. Green tea or gatorade or whatever. None of those things are as good as regular water.  I mean, half of those things don't even quench my thirst like water does. I mean, if I say "I'm thirsty" and someone is like, "Here's a soda", I take it as an insult almost. Soda is an epic failure at quenching my thirst. The bubbles make me more thirsty sometimes and flat soda is nasty and so sugary that I cannot handle it.  I do enjoy lemonade as a change of pace. Plus it is still good at making me less thirsty. Also, I think my beverage has to be cold if it is to do any good.  In short, I love water. I do like soda to enjoy but not to quench my thirst. Orange soda is my favorite.

National thoughts

Hello blogosphere.  How beith you this fine eve?  I wish people still spoke "ye olde english".  Maybe I should spend more time at Medieval Fairs.  I really just want to speak lots of languages. I feel they help us grasp our native language better. Hence why people who speak English as a second language always have funny word insights. I always try to think of them myself but fail.  I might be clever to someone else in another language one day.

I feel my generation is lazy overall.  Or at least I am constantly around the lazy people because all of those I meet of my age or near it are not very serious about anything. Or at least not open about said seriousness because all I see from people is laziness and boring "lets gossip about people" tendencies.  I saw a quote that said (random thought: if there was an automatic eye dropping machine that automatically dropped eye drops into your eyes, would you need to blink any more?)

 Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.

-Eleanor Roosevelt

That is the quote right there. I like it because it seems the people with all the friends are the ones talking about each other. Wow. Are you really friends if you are just discussing other peoples' lives?  Why don't you live your own life and really enjoy it? How can you enjoy your own life if all it consists of is other peoples' lives?  That means you need those other people to enjoy life.  That is all too sad.  For those people anyway. I plan to have myself a good life that does not depend on other people for fun. Now, don't get me wrong, my friends and I have the best of times. But, I don't need those people to have fun. I can read a good book. Go to a museum and enjoy a nice piece of art. (I could probably spend hours in that room at the Saint Louis Art Museum with the Van Gogh's in it.) And it seems like these people are the ones that are going to turn into the ones that feed the TV market and NASCAR racing and boring mind numbing not productive things that we have in American society.  Maybe I am pessimistic about it. I guess only time will tell.

I want to go to Australia more than ever right now. I am looking at study abroad opportunities there. All I can say is, wow.

Oh and notice my perfect alignment. I don't like this way either. I have to ignore it when I see books written this way. Too...perfect. Not natural.

It takes more than a heartbeat to get me

Well apparently watching House is not going to happen because neither myself or my sister are making any movement towards the PS2....

Hi guys. Look at me be regular about updating. I enjoy widely viewable broadcasting of my own words.  Kind of exciting.  To me at least. Probably boring to all of you. I am going to stop being so negative. Oh look, now my entry is aligned to the center. I feel like only poems should be like this.  Ok lets get down to business.

I feel a strong urge to visit and study in another country. Like Australia for example. I am kind of feeling an urge to go someplace warm. That could be that thing people get in the winter. Depression due to the lack of sunshine. I find that awesome that the sun gives us vitamin D and warms our climate importantly but effects our emotions? Fine with me. I love sunshine.  I can even tell the difference between winter sunshine and summer sunshine.

I am thinking about food a lot.  Does garlic maybe trigger appetite? I really could go for some pudding right now. Maybe my metabolism is needing nutrients because I have been sitting around doing nothing. Maybe I have obesity...of the mind. I am not physically fat.  But might be thinking about food too much. Or who knows it could be that urge to eat when I am bored that I get a lot.  Or I could be depressed because I am sleeping a lot and not necessarily wanting to.  That would be fun. Can one be depressed and not be...depressed? Because I sure don't feel particularly sad.  Probably deep down I am sad. Probably unhealthy to be like this too. Oh man I could go for some ice cream.

No longer a virgin

Oh my gosh. Its my first blog. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. Well I know I have to at least say things so here are some things...

I am probably going to use this blog to rant my face off...or maybe my fingers...when I have some crazy thought going through my head. Might get personal. Who knows. Depends on my mood. I am kinda hoping people will read it although it will not break my heart if no one does. Is it going to drive everyone batty that I have my words aligned to the right? Maybe I will find some code to make my words aligned vertically too so I can go Japanese style on this blogs ass.

I am not feeling the creative juices. Or even the clever juices. Or even the I am a girl with a ton of problems to bitch about juices. However, I am feeling the, I want to watch some Spongebob juices.

I will return.